We work hard. We deserve the rewards, right? I agree.
So, today I want to talk to you about how to magnetize what you want in your life. I do think the process is nuanced, but generally, here are the steps I take myself and my clients through to bring in more of what we desire.
If you’re ready to magnetize the work and life of your dreams, meet me in a consult call.
With love,
Amina
]]>Nothing makes me sadder than folks who summoned the courage to leave a tough work situation only to find themselves in a tougher one. As I hear story after story on my sales consults, I often feel a pit in my stomach and wish I could turn back time to coach these folks through their pivots.
Because pivoting, whether it’s into a new job or your own business, IS AN ART.
In my coaching practice, I teach the art of a powerful pivot because I was once told to “leap and the net would appear,” and it didn’t, and it majorly sucked. I landed hard on my a$$, and I don’t want that for you.
There are several very intentional steps we take to set you up for a powerful next level.
It’s about understanding your gifts, values, finances, belief system, subconscious programming, and so much more. While this is the work we do in my coaching programs, if I could give you three pieces of advice to support a powerful pivot, they would be:
To pivoting into your purpose!
Amina xx
And if you're ready to pivot powerfully, you might want to explore my group program Pivot to Purpose.
]]>Hi friends!
I shared a quote on instagram a few weeks ago that you all loved! It basically said, staying stuck sucks. Sure, change is scary, but nothing is worse than staying somewhere we don’t belong.
Inspired by your response to this share, I’m serving up some hot tips on how to get unstuck from the stickiness that is 2021.
Step 1: Release tolerations
tol·er·a·tion
/ˌtäləˈrāSH(ə)n/
noun
The practice of tolerating something. Allowing the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference.
We all have areas in our lives that we are tolerating—putting up with either because we haven’t looked at it or don’t believe that another way is possible. When we are tolerating things that are not in service to us, we can not only feel overwhelmed and weighted down, but it diminishes our capacity to hold what we really desire. Ask yourself:
Step 2: Shift your mindset
It’s pretty easy to feel down these days. The world is in crisis, 40% of folks are changing jobs, the pandemic has hit women really hard...the list goes on. But it’s not just the times that are making us feel down. Our brains evolved with something called a “negativity bias” which was literally an evolutionary response to keep us safe. If we saw a lion in the prairie we need to hyper focus on the fact that the prairie wasn’t safe so we could stay alive.
What this means is that our brains are more sensitive to negative information or unpleasant news. Our brains literally have a greater surge in electrical activity when we see, hear, feel or experience negativity. Researchers have found that in order to feel balanced in a situation, we need to a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative. Take yourself through this three step process to reframe yourself out of a funk.
Ask yourself:
What is the story you’re telling yourself? What is the Voice of Fear Saying?
Is there a limiting belief (belief that is keeping you stuck) tied to this fear?
How can you debunk this way of thinking or turn this thought around by citing examples to the contrary?
Step 3: Cultivate a daily gratitude practice
According to Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher, who has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being, gratitude reduces toxic emotions ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression. And who couldn’t use a little more happiness, especially right now?
Ask yourself:
What are you grateful for today? Whom are you grateful for?
How can you express advanced gratitude (gratitude for something you’re manifesting that hasn’t yet arrived so you can allow yourself to feel as if it’s already here)?
What did this bring up for you? If it was a lot, I hear you. And if you'd like to process it together and explore what's next for you, I invite you to schedule a clarity call.
]]>Hi friends,
We all have that one co-worker.
You know the one.
We’ve all experienced that one team member who is hell-bent on taking down the morale of the entire office. It’s heavy, it’s uncomfortable and it makes work downright un-fun.
Those toxic behavior can look like:
I’m sure as you read through the list you’re thinking of a team member who’s embodied at least one of those. I've certainly known a few in my time. So what can we do about it?
I’ve created your guide to navigating toxic team members. Download it for free with code: Compassion.
To transformation and releasing toxicity,
Amina
]]>
|
|
Hi friends!
Newsflash: A year and a half into the COVID-19 pandemic, working womxn are even more burned out than they were last year — and increasingly more so than men. Despite this, women leaders are stepping up to support employee well-being and diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts, but that work is not getting recognized. That’s according to the latest Women in the Workplace report from McKinsey, in partnership with LeanIn.org.
The report went on to highlight that women of color continue to be on the receiving end of othering behavior, which likely only exacerbates burnout.
The way forward is crystal clear. Organizations need to honor and reward women leaders who are leading in the most challenging circumstance AND they need to do the transformative culture work required to make their spaces one in which everyone can thrive. I probably don’t need to tell you this — you’re likely living it!
But why are we feeling so burned out (current global crisis aside)?
Did you know those of us who produce estrogen actually have a higher propensity for burnout, anxiety and stress — biologically speaking. In fact, recent research has found that estrogen-producers are more sensitive to low levels of corticotropin-releasing factor (CRF), a hormone that organizes stress responses in mammals, making them twice as vulnerable as men to stress-related disorders.
AND
The brain system involved in the fight-or-flight response is activated more readily in women and stays activated longer than men, partly as a result of the action of estrogen and progesterone.
Layer in all the invisible labor we have to do on top of the very visible labor we are doing — of course we are burned out. I’ve put together a worksheet to help you mitigate burnout and hopefully shift some of the factors exacerbating it in this moment. Use code "burnout" to access via the button below for free!
To demanding spaces where we can thrive,
Amina xx
]]>
I have a confession to make. For a long time, I felt deep shame about my multi-passionate ways. I felt something was “wrong” with me because my career path wasn’t linear, and I wasn’t focused on ONE THING. I would constantly get excited about new things, fully immersing myself and studying them, and I felt like a major flake. The inception of this concept was from society and my old community often echoed this sentiment, raising a brow with judgment followed by a monologue to the tune of “what are you doing now?” because they “couldn’t keep up.”
They made me feel like my multitude of interests was the problem until I learned that it was my superpower.
I wasn’t designed to do one thing. Some people are and that is wonderful but it’s not this gal. And that is likely some of you, too!
I began to share this with some of my friends, clients and colleagues, realizing that there were so many of us who had these multiple sets of interests who were just pushing them to the side.
We were made to feel like our naturally multi-hyphenate nature was frowned upon or it was something to apologize for versus to be celebrated. Being multi-passionate and bringing those passions together is what makes us magical. It helps us stand out from the crowd. It helps us express ourselves in a 5D way. It’s what makes you, YOU!
For a long time, I felt so shameful and insecure about my multi-passionate ways.
And when I did retire my corporate wellness offering, I felt like a big, ole failure.
I remember the day clearly. I had given a talk at Deloitte, which had long been on my vision board. I landed my talking points, I moved the room, and folks lined up to talk to me afterward. And as soon as I finished my talk though, I ran to the bathroom and cried loud, uncontrollable sobs. Because something still didn't feel "right" and that scared me. I did everything I was told to do and yet it still wasn’t clicking. I wondered if I would ever find work that felt good, where I could bring all of me to the table.
It was time for me to shift the narrative. I was seeking a new way of thinking and then I stumbled into passion stacking—but I had no idea it was called that or if it was even a thing. I decided that it was too painful to compartmentalize myself. And that if I wanted to live the most full and fulfilling life, I needed to put everything I loved and was great at together. So I did.
That is when I sat down to design my coaching curriculum, which leverages my business, mindset, and wellness backgrounds. When I started my coaching business, I knew I needed to bring all of me to the table to do this work in a way that was the most authentic to me, my purpose, and my true self. Who would have thought that coaching, meditation, nutrition, movement, human design and strategy could all work together?! My multiple passions is what set me apart from the beginning.
If you would have told me that a decade ago, I would have laughed in your face. But, here I am bringing all of these modalities into my coaching container. It’s tangible the way this passion stacking shows up in my work. And for the last seven years, I have given myself full permission to bring in all my passions and put them together in a way that is uniquely me!
Looking back at all the times I felt like I was hopelessly grasping at straws for the answer of what I was doing wrong, I realize was not a failure at all. I was in process. And the only place I had missed the mark was not giving myself permission to be all the (seemingly disparate) parts of me.
Here is what I want to say to you that I wish someone had told me. You are perfect. Your passions make sense and can work together. Give yourself permission to be all of you because the world needs that very thing that doesn't exist yet. So, what is your version of this? If you’re multi-passionate, how can you passion-stack to get on the court with more of you and share your differentiated perspective? Let this be your invitation.
There is nothing weird or wild about honoring yourself and your gifts. It's okay if others don't understand yet. Lead by example. Keep going—you've got this.
To magical millimeter shifts!
Amina xx
]]>I feel like I’m constantly saying "what a wild time to be alive" these days, and indeed it is. On a spiritual level, because of my personal belief in reincarnation, I believe our souls chose this moment in time because we knew we could be of the highest service with our gifts and our agency. It is one of the ideas that ground me when the going gets tough.
In my experience over the last few months while hearing countless stories from my beloved clients, it's clear most of us are getting knocked off-center. Our stability, trust, and safety feel constantly called into question.
I've recognized more deeply over the last few months that we cannot ascend to a new level until we have reinforced our foundation. Maybe for some of us, we even need to build a whole new one. It's like trying to add a new floor to your home without looking at the underlying support structures. We cannot claim our next level in business or life if we haven't first reinforced our infrastructure. And the infrastructure I'm referring to in this context is our inner child—specifically reevaluating and supporting that inner child through reparenting.
Reparenting is giving yourself what you didn't receive as a child. And many of us are in need of it because no matter how wonderful your parents were or are, it's impossible to get everything we need it when it comes to our work and lives from them. And that lack or dysfunction can show up in our adult relationships and patterns, seeking externally what we need to find internally.
This can show up in work like:
If you nodded yes to any of these, you might benefit from a little reparenting work.
Something that’s helped me on my journey of reparenting has been meditation so I’m sharing this one along with a worksheet to support further inquiry for you here. And if you want to learn more on the topic, I highly recommend you check out the book It Didn't Start with You by Mark Wolynn.
To reparenting and real shifts!
Amina xxWhen I was in high school my tennis coach used to say, “a day off is a day wasted when others become better than you.” Yikes…I cringe when I read that now—it’s like the anthem of hustle culture. What an unhealthy way to motivate young people. This creates a foundation of deep neglect and respect for rest, nourishment, and listening to our bodies.
But, I have to confess, for years I lived by that idea. I was the last person in the library, the last person at work, the last person on the tennis court—terrified that if I took a day off, I wouldn’t be able to keep up. I thought that I wouldn’t be deemed as worthy or good enough if I didn’t give every single ounce of my energy away to everything but myself. And then my body said, “no thanks.” The constant hustling, pushing, and forcing impacted my body and tipped me down the hill and into a pile of autoimmune mud of my own making. Our bodies are WISE.
It took me years and years since my diagnosis to reprogram and shift out of this always-on, scarcity mindset culture. I had to teach myself and my nervous system that it was safe to rest. So many of us can feel guilt, shame, and a whole slew of negative emotions when we slow down. Even if it’s a life or death decision.
I had to learn that giving my life to being “the best” wasn’t necessary because there is space for us all. I’m right on time for my life.
The best work and deepest transformations happen when we are nourished at a soul level.
Don’t believe me? Then you might want to read up on the science of downtime. The gist is this—doing nothing (not even meditation) gives our brains the opportunity to go through the data it’s aggregated, connect the dots, and creatively problem solve in a way that we cannot if we are always using our brains and are “cerebrally congested.”
In May, I took twelve whole days off to cerebrally decongest. I ate vegan gelato. Walked aimlessly. Swam in the Mediterranean and took naps—and it was glorious.
As an entrepreneur, truly doing nothing can be a really scary undertaking, but I know that this work depends on me being deeply nourished. I cannot pour into you if I haven’t first poured into me. Athletes at the top of their game live by this. Their best time trials and races cannot happen if they haven’t taken rest days. Their muscles and their minds need replenishing in order to win at the levels that they do.
So, please let this be your invitation to:
There is no wrong way to do nothing but our creativity, motivation, and joy depend on it.
To nothingness and nourishment,
Amina xx
There’s been a juicy theme rumbling through the halls of Amina AlTai Advising lately and it’s confidence.
How do we find the confidence to do things we’ve never done before?
How do we access our power within?
Why do some of us seem to have it and others of us struggle?
How can I find it and hold on to it?
I’ve asked myself these very questions and to answer them, I want to give it over to the amazing author, educator and activist, Brittany Packnett Cunningham. In her famed TED Talk, Packnett Cunningham says we build confidence through permission, community, and curiosity.
She says:
“Confidence is the necessary spark before everything that follows,” Packnett Cunningham explains. “Confidence is the difference between being inspired and actually getting started, between trying and doing until it’s done.”
So, if you are ready to not just be inspired but to actually do the thing, this is your invitation to…
Give yourself permission to be ALL OF YOU
AND gift yourself whatever you need to claim your next level of confidence.
If you’re ready to go there, I highly recommend you watch the TED Talk, and then go download this worksheet to help you unearth what’s standing between you and the confidence to do the work you desire.
“Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.” -Michelle Obama
With love and courage,
Amina
P.S. If you love juicy lessons like this, consider checking out The Career Uplevel Digital Course, which is filled with videos, how-tos and lessons on how to advance your career.
]]>I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately about we get from survival mode back to dream mode and let me tell you, it’s all about getting visionary.
When I was a little girl, I was obsessed with the movie Cinderella. I wanted a Gus Gus in my life more than anything. I would fantasize about carrying him around in my pocket and the two of us getting caught up in mischief all day.
Now, Gus aside, one of my favorite songs from Cinderella is “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes.” I recently heard Christina Perri’s cover of it and it was like hearing the song for the very first time. The lyrics go…
“A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you will lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true”
All of my favorite themes: dreams, grief, and faith.
Dreams are a unifying force—we all have them. But the thing is, not all of us feel like we have permission to get on the court with our dreams. Some of us feel like dreaming is for the select few—that not everyone gets to have their innermost desires met—in work or in life. This can be even more true for those of us who are marginalized. And sometimes, like after 2 years in a pandemic, we just feel too zapped to dream. I so get it!
But I’m here to convince you to dream anyway. Joy is an act of resistance and joy is an active ingredient in the journey to make your dreams come to fruition.
When I first left my marketing agency in my late 20’s, I was so disconnected from my desires. I was newly diagnosed with two autoimmune diseases and was coming to terms with my own behaviors that had set me up to miss the mark. Life felt so topsy-turvy and I felt nowhere near dreaming. It took me about a year of healing and coming out of fight or flight mode before I could even think about what was next.
Every day I took a micro step. I meditated, I set boundaries, I journaled, I moved my body and made the best choices I could until I felt safe enough to dream again. This is a valid and important part of the process. And the resulting steps I took are what led me here—doing my juiciest life's work.
I believe in your dreams and that doing the work that lights you up is your birthright.
Real talk, getting on the court with our dreams is one of the MOST vulnerable things we can do. It asks us to bare our souls, to be really honest about the wishes our hearts are making, and to walk towards them publicly, knowing full well that we may miss the mark (if I had a dollar for every time I have!). It can be really freaking scary.
However, a wise person once said, on the other side of our greatest fears are our greatest dreams. If we can shift those fears just a millimeter each day, before you know it, you’re walking towards a place that feels like home. What micro step can you take today in service of your dreams?
My favorite things to support dreaming
Inside The Nourishment Journal I have a whole section on how to write your dreams and shift the mindset blocks standing between you and your wildest desires.
This book on Free Play has been instrumental for me. For those of us that spend so much time at work or behind a computer, we can forget the importance of play and creativity. This starts to loosen the threads and gives you permission to free your inner child.
This meditation I made for you on the dream for your life one year from now
“The Artist’s Way” is a tried and true method for unleashing your creativity and discovering your truest desires. It takes discipline and consistency but yields major results.
Let this be the permission and sign you’ve been waiting for.
To dreams,
Amina xx
]]>The Great Resignation, as we’ve been talking about for months, has led to a sort of workplace revolution. Burned out, bummed out, and undervalued, many of us decided it was time for a seismic change.
Enter: The post-pandemic (meaning the world after living in a pandemic, we must acknowledge that it’s still raging on) paradigm of work, where there is no space for the old-school management styles that exert power over and dictate terms to its workforce.
Real talk—the modern workplace is broken. Let’s take the 8-hour work day, for example. The 8-hour work day was established in 1867 to protect workers who held jobs brought about by the industrial revolution, who would routinely work manual labor exceeding 12 to 14 hours. It was intended as a protective mechanism.
And did you know that the work day was originally designed around men’s hormones, to work around their 24-hour testosterone cycle? The workplace wasn’t designed to support everyone and it’s even more ill-fitting in 2022.
Work is markedly different than it was 150 years ago. Heck, it’s way different than a decade ago and we need to support our employees and teams in a way that honors who they are, what is happening in their roles, and what is happening in the world. So if you’re considering a shift and are exploring a more supportive work culture, you may want to ask yourself these questions:
If your answers to the above highlight that your current role may be lacking, this could be your time. And if you’d like to explore how to make that transition as aligned and easeful as possible, that’s something I can help with if you want some clarity.
To new structures and new roles,
Amina
]]>Goodness, do I have a confession for you. I spent the first few months of 2022 in what my friend Lacy Phillips calls The Magic Dark (you know, that moment where it’s darkest before the dawn) and I almost broke my business because of it.
It all started in January when I was telling myself a story that I was bored with work and needed to add something new and exciting. But little did I know that it was actually a very sneaky form of my own subconscious sabotage.
Was I really bored? Maybe. Did it have anything to do with work? Most certainly not. It had everything to do with me putting down my old programming of being in constant “doing” and shifting more into “play.” But I was so resistant to the belief that my next level of success could be easy, that I thought I’d try and sabotage my business just to prove myself right. Oooooff.
Round and round I went—jockeying between allowing the voice and fear of my subconscious to drive the car and occasionally allowing my higher self to step in and take the wheel.
And I’m not going to lie to you…it was grueling. I was batting my subconscious, gladiator style, every day.
I was flooded with storylines like:
Someone hand my subconscious sabotage an Oscar for this performance, please!
The fear-based part of my brain kept saying I couldn’t have my next level of success without a fight. That it wasn’t allowed to be easy. And since our beliefs direct our thoughts and our actions, I was moving through life trying to make my subconscious right.
Until I said, “No f*cking more” and allowed my higher self to get louder than my subconscious.
About a month in, I realized something was up. So I sat down to really look at myself and how I was showing up in the business. And I GOT BRUTALLY HONEST with myself and made a list of all the ways I sabotage my own success when I get freaked out. Here are a few cute ones to give you a sense of what I’m working with:
For a few hours each day, I reminded myself of these things:
I am here to remind all the people that look and feel like me that it MOST CERTAINLY CAN BE DONE
My success is your success and I REFUSE to let you down
So when my subconscious roared, I roared louder. If these messages resonated with you, please use them for your own daily affirmations.
What my subconscious was really trying to do was to show me where I didn’t feel FREE. It had nothing to do with my business and everything to do with my mindset, where I wasn’t allowing ease and play in.
We all have those parts of our subconscious—big and small—that may try to take us out. But we don’t have to succumb to the belief or the programming. We can flip the script and it starts with getting clear.
If I’ve learned anything from this magic dark is that I am unstoppable. And I don't mean that in a gross hustle-culture type of way. I mean that when the going gets tough, I stay in the work. Even when the work is to surrender and do nothing. If you’re in a similar place, I deeply feel you and am sending you all the love and tools to help you shift and claim your unstoppability.
I’ve put together a little quiz for you to figure out where you might be taking yourself out. It’s called The Five Catalysts and underscores where you may need a little boost in order to fully embody the dream. Clearly, my mindset and faith needed a little bolstering, but I am so glad it did because the level of awareness that bloomed through as a result of my magic dark has been nothing short of magical.
Head on over here to take the quiz and get the worksheet to get clearer on where you might be unknowingly interrupting your success.
Say goodbye to sub c sabotage!
Amina xx
]]>Message from the Universe: Overall message from spirit—Underworld
I laughed a little when I pulled this card because #scorpio and I always happen to pull something a little dark or connected to transformation. This card is asking us to either go inward and tend to the uncomfortable, or it’s acting as a GPS to show you where you are right now. If you don’t find yourself in the “underworld” in this moment (bless you!) this card is asking you to pause and consider what needs to fall away. If you are in the underworld (uff, I’m right there with you) it can feel a bit like trial after trial, or loss after loss. But this is where we are reborn and transform. As we head into Q4, and journey towards nearly two years of a global pandemic, how are you transformed? How can you sit with the discomfort that is, and surrender a little more? This one felt so spot on as I recently described myself as “Bambi learning to walk for the first time.” Anyone else feel me?
Myself: What you need to know for internal work—The Seeker
It’s time for a major energy and vitality boost. I know we’ve all be languishing (thanks for naming it, NYTimes) and The Seeker is inviting us to infuse our lives with our natural vigor. The essence of The Seeker is a childlike sense of love and wonder—a feeling that the world is a beautiful place. For many of us, it feels as if life has robbed us of that lately. The Seeker is asking you to put your stake in the ground for a reclamation around this idea. It’s not so much that we need to put an end to all stressors (hello, reality!) but this card is asking us to slowly and lovingly nurture our sense of wonder. You're being urged to swap “what if everything goes wrong?” to “everything unfolds in highest service to me.”
My work: What you need to know in regard to your work in the world—The Revolutionary
I love this card! The revolutionary in the context of your work is asking you to challenge the status quo. At work, are you trudging along and flowing with the way things are? If so, it might be time to bring in the energy of the revolutionary and build a new world with your work. Revolutionaries are natural leaders but often ahead of their time. The ideas can be considered “out there.” But never in human herstory have we needed more “out there” ideas. How can you get on the court with your more revolutionary ideas at work? What new and divergent concepts want to be birthed? If you’ve been waiting for permission to go renegade—permission granted.
Relationships: What you need to know in regards to your relationships—The Magi
The Magi represents an invitation to look and go deeper. It asks you to examine what you think you know about your relationships—and then go further. In this context, I think of this card as an opportunity to unearth any limiting beliefs around your relationships. The Magi sees through illusion so this card in the space of relationships is asking you to move past the smoke and mirrors or the surface level of relationships, and mine for what is really there and what you believe CAN BE there. Do you feel worthy of a powerful, supportive group of humans that take you and your work to the next level? Do you have your league of champions that rally and cheerlead for you every step of the way? If not, it’s time to ask yourself, “why?”
]]>For the first time, the World Health Organization (WHO) now recognizes burnout as a real workplace phenomenon. I characterize burnout as extreme stress to the point that our mind or our bodies give out or demonstrate extreme fatigue and resistance. This can manifest as lethargy that is so severe, that we’re unable to complete normal tasks. When we’re experiencing burnout, we may struggle to feel connected to workplace challenges because we simply don’t have enough energy or enthusiasm to move through them. Our brains and bodies become so exhausted that it impacts our ability to problem solve, be creative, and sometimes even get through the work week.
Burnout doesn’t just impact our work life, though. When we are so depleted to the point that we have difficulty carrying out everyday tasks, it can also wreak havoc on our home lives. I have many clients who were not only suffering in their careers but were carrying home that extreme exhaustion which intercepted their ability to show up fully for their loved ones as well.
How can we avoid it?
Take a break. According to a study conducted by the National Bureau of Economic Research, Americans lengthened their workday by one full hour during the pandemic. We also saw a rise in unused time off as up to 92% of Americans cancelled, postponed or didn’t book a vacation due to the global pandemic. We simply aren’t using our PTO but it’s vital to our physical and mental wellbeing that we take breaks to refresh our bodies, our minds and our perspectives.
Many of us feel like we can’t afford to fully disconnect and take a vacation. Even taking a summer Friday, an extended lunch break, or eating lunch away from your desk can help. I recommend a 90/10 rule for my clients. For every 90 minutes of focused activity, allow your brain and body 10 minutes to decompress and recuperate.
Get support. Many organizations offer career and wellness coaching as part of their employee perks. Ask your HR department what resources are in place to support your wellbeing and help you move through or avoid burnout.
Set boundaries. Oftentimes, we reach burnout because we’ve been doing too much for too long without any respite. Occasionally, that can be due to a lack of boundaries. If your managers consistently ask you to do more without the opportunity to pause and refill your metaphorical cup, it’s time to reinforce stronger boundaries. A lot of my coachees have suffered from burnout and have been afraid to advocate for better boundaries for fear that it will impact their growth trajectory at work. I believe we can’t afford not to have good boundaries, because if we burnout, and it expresses itself as illness or disease, that can be very challenging to recover from and impact us in an even bigger way. Stronger boundaries might not necessarily mean less work. But it might mean less work that is zapping your energy and keeping you away from the work you really want to do. Which brings me to my next point on self-advocacy.
We know, from the aforementioned data, that most of us are working harder than ever and some of us may feel ready to ask for a well-earned promotion. However, is the pandemic the right time to ask? I have met with countless coaching clients over the course of the last year asking themselves the same questions. The answer is a little complicated.
We want to bring the highest degree of consciousness to the conversation as this has been a challenging time for so many. We’ve seen lay-offs, furloughs and hiring freezes that have complicated the job marketing and promotion track—but that doesn’t diminish your contribution or mean it’s not time to ask for a promotion. I simply invite you to do so strategically and thoughtfully. When thinking about asking for a promotion, consider the overall company performance, your individual contribution and the timing.
Before you schedule your promotion conversation with your manager be prepared with data and business cases to support your rise in the company. Ask yourself, how is the company performing? Is the business viable from the information you can gather? If they’re downsizing, have a hiring freeze, or going through layoffs, you may want to pause your ask. If the company is performing well and growing, this could be a good time to make your case.
As you prepare for your conversation with your manager, ready your unique business case. Get clear on what you have contributed to the business over your tenure, and particularly during the challenges of the last eighteen months. How have you supported company growth, your coworkers, and cross-functional teams to be successful in this time. Outline both qualitative and quantitative examples, if you can.
Lastly, before you have your conversation, consider the timing. Most organizations follow promotion cycles that land at particular times in the calendar year. If you’re asking for an off-cycle promotion, gather any data from employee handbooks, past emails or HR to see if this is common practice. Having examples to point to of previous off-cycle promotions will only strengthen your case.
Now that you’ve done some of the prep work and are ready to make the ask, I invite you to follow the STARS format outlined below.
As you’re scheduling this conversation with your manager, you’re going to want to give them context to the meeting. Very few people respond well to surprises, so you want to make sure they know what they’re walking into. Choose logistics thoughtfully so they feel comfortable and open. Before you walk into the meeting, check your own intentions. Are you intending to demand a promotion because you’re long overdue for one? Are you intending to demonstrate how wrong they were for passing over you in the last promotion cycle? You want to clear out any negativity before you go into the conversation, so it doesn’t cloud your ask.
This is where you prove the business case for your promotion. Since you did prior research, you’ll have examples for how you added value to your work, your teams and the business overall. A promotion is often about alignment and leaving a space you’ve outgrown to develop your
abilities in a new space. Demonstrate what you’ve outgrown and what you can contribute to that new space and why this growth is so important for you and the business.
Be direct and clear about your ask. If your manager is unclear on what you’re really asking for, they can’t support you, so directness and transparency go a long way in conversations like these. Do not sidestep the tough stuff because you feel uncomfortable. Be direct, but kind and empathetic and make the ask with confidence. If you don’t feel confident in what you’re asking for, your manager will pick up on that. Remember your why as you make the ask to bolster your confidence.
Once you’ve made the ask, reinforce your why. I caution you not to overdo this, you’ve already made your case—you’re just underscoring why it’s in the best interest of everyone involved.
As you bring the conversation to a close, express gratitude for their time and how they have supported you. Agree on next steps and timing and then send a follow up email to reinforce the ask, the why, the timing and the next steps that have been agreed upon. Follow up as often as it makes sense to both of you. If there is no progress made, establish next steps.
]]>
I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that it's all in your head. The bad news is that it's all in your head.
The first card I pulled when I asked, ‘what does the collective need to know about career right now?’ was the 8 of Swords. It's a good time to tread lightly. We have all been through a lot. That’s a huge understatement, but it seems to be something we all keep forgetting. We are at a point where I wouldn’t say ‘ I wonder if your mental health has been affected?’ but instead assume it. So, what does that mean? The 8 of Swords is a lot about pinning ourselves in with our fears and anxieties. It's contracting out of the feelings. That’s okay, it happens. We can’t expand without contraction, but the important thing is building the awareness that you’re there so that you can get out of it.
The biggest thing to ask yourself in regard to your career right now is, ‘where am I making it harder than it needs to be?’ Can you delegate? If you can’t bring in reinforcements, can you bolster your own support? The big thing here is not getting stuck in the mud and knowing what your particular brand of mud is. It’s year 700 of a pandemic, who has energy for fighting where you’re at? We are all so restless. We want clarity, direction and a pathway forward. All reasonable requests and we’re all pretty sure that pathway forward exists outside ourselves. Terrible news….remember how I started this off? The call is coming from inside the house. While it feels impossible for any of us to turn FURTHER inward, that’s the invitation. I’m not saying whatever is going on in your career is your fault. Nope. I am, however, saying that you have the answer. It’s in rearranging the existing pieces. It's accepting where there is dead energy and when it’s best to conserve your own. It's knowing your strengths and weaknesses and not collapsing in shame. Create a plan with self-acceptance.
The 5 of Swords or the ‘how do we lean into the 8 of Swords?’ energy tells me all of this. We have the ability to work differently with a pattern that has traditionally brought us down. There’s a crack in it and we can wiggle through. This is not a license to be mean to yourself, it is encouragement to notice if there’s a pattern that you’re just so over, that tends to make your career tricky. Open yourself up, maybe throw in a scoop of humility, and ask ‘okay, I give, what is it? What am I missing? How do I grow beyond this limitation?’ The answer can be enticed towards you.
To round out this, I dunno, maybe not infuriating energy but definitely not sexy energy (because let's be real it’s always way more fun when someone else is the problem), we have the Moon. Oh the Moon, I love its energy. It can bring us so much, but man, we’re all like a trapped wild animal when we're in it. If we can be calm and go, ‘you know what? I don’t really know which way is up right now, but I am NOT GOING TO PANIC. I trust my inner compass and guidance to make choices as they come,’ we are taken from night to day into the energy of The Sun. If you are not where you want to be, or things are not flourishing the way you desire, feel your feelings but do not make decisions from them until you’ve run it by your intuition.
For a lot of people, the best advice right now might be to sit tight and take care of yourself in that discomfort versus making a mess just to have done something. We’ve all done it. Who wants to feel impotent? Not I. I want BDE in all aspects of life. However, it takes a lot of confidence, trust and wisdom to just sit tight sometimes. To trust you’re not lost right now, you’re just somewhere you haven’t been before.
It's okay if you’re not an expert. In fact, take that pressure off, it's how knowledge comes in.
To know and trust in a deep, deep way that your time will come is a lifetime lesson, not a monthly one. We’re just being reminded of it right now. Whatever you desire, whatever is your birthright, cannot miss you. You just can’t spin yourself into such a tizzy that you’re exhausted when it arrives.
If you're looking for deeper support around your career and want to start unearthing your purpose, schedule a time to connect with Amina right here.
-------
About Anna Toonk
Anna Toonk is an intuitive guide, tarot reader and co-founder of a virtual healing space The SoulUnity. She enjoys using her intuitive gifts, and cards to connect you to your deeper truth acting as spiritual support in the pursuit of growth and clarity. A big believer in feelings, intuition as our superpowers and the keys to directing our lives she loves making sense of these for others to help them chart their paths to what they desire. Based in NYC she can be found at annatoonk.com, thesoulunity
Just the thought of feedback can activate our brains threat response and make us less receptive and more reactive. Create a safe container by checking your own intent as well as choosing logistics thoughtfully. Don’t give feedback if you are upset—allow yourself to cool down first. When you’re ready, assume your own positive intent reminding yourself that feedback allows you and them to both grow, support the team and the organization.
Once you’ve checked your intention, choose logistics thoughtfully. Do not give constructive feedback in front of others (not on a group zoom call, please!). Create a container that allows them to feel safe (like ordering them their favorite seamless meal and asking that they set time aside in a quiet place for a feedback conversation.)
Directness and transparency go a long way in feedback conversations. Do not sidestep the tough stuff because you feel uncomfortable and do not save difficult feedback for a future conversation. That can undermine psychological safety.
Be direct, but kind and empathetic—considering the other persons feelings. Do not talk about this feedback with others (unless it warrants other managers or departments) and do not, in any circumstances, gossip
To keep us on track, use the following format to guide your feedback. Context, action, impact, solution. Describe the context—the where and when of the challenge. Then, share specifics on the action that lead to the breakdown or challenge. It’s important to share the impact of that action—what happened as a result? And then finally, what is the solution or next steps? Feedback without a solution attached is simply complaining so ensure you have some ideas on-hand as to next steps or solutions.
Now that we’ve shared the feedback in the most constructive way, we want to open it up for a dialogue. Ask a few open-ended questions such as “how do you see this challenge?” or “does this makes sense to you?” and even “what’s your reaction?” Allow them to speak to freely and check in on their body language and listen for what isn’t being said (so important in a virtual space). Hold space with kindness and don’t avoid the hard stuff.
Reaffirm your intentions for moving forward + your own role in the initial breakdown. Identify with them how you more effectively support them moving forward. Restate what you will do moving forward to ensure they have the support they need to achieve the desired outcome.
Write down your agreements and next steps. Follow up as often as it makes sense to both of you. If there is no progress made, establish next steps.
Afterwards, self-assess and see how you did. Did you create a safe container? Were you open and empathetic? What was your intention? Were you receptive and kind in the dialogue? Were you clear on your role in the breakdown and on the agreements? What can you improve for next time?
]]>Can you believe we’re in December already?! How is this happening?!
I have lots of fun things in store for you this month, including my annual Reflect & Manifest exercise (but with a 2020 spin on it!) coming to your inbox soon!
But, meanwhile, I wanted to pop into your inbox to share my holiday gift guide spotlighting BIPOC founders with some pretty incredible offerings for you all.
Here’s what some of my loved ones can expect in the mail this year ;)
This “I’m Speaking” Sweatshirt from Phenomenal Women.
This stunning “Hope” necklace from ByChari (spoiler alert, ByChari created Michelle Obama’s famous “vote” necklace).
This Maelove Anti-oxidant Serum. It’s a way more affordable version of C, E, and Ferulic acid and it seriously makes you GLOW!
A Promised Land by Barack Obama from Cafe Con Libros book store.
I kind of want everything from Oui the People, but these F#ckFlawless Socks are amaze as is this patriarchy candle.
This Breaking Racial Bias course with my beloved Anu Gupta. I took the course live and it’s seriously phenomenal.
This amazing coconut bath soak from Chloe & Chad.
This Ode to Self Clarifying and Hydrating Face Oil.
And, of course, for anyone on your list who needs a little extra nourishment, The Nourishment Journal is the gift that keeps on giving (but I may be biased!).
To great gifts and an even greater 2021!
Amina xx
]]>Conversations have gone something like this.
"My friends are launching XYZ, so I think I should too."
"I need to make more money, so I'm going to add XYZ to my offering even though it requires a lot of effort and I haven't tested."
And my first question back is, "Why? What's the goal here? What is this in service to in the context of your bigger mission?"
And those questions are usually followed by a long, long, super-pregnant pause. Because truthfully, we don't always revisit our why, or our big juicy mission. We react. We get lost in the emotion, the comparison and forget to come back to our true north.
And sometimes that's totally fine, right? On occasion we need to get lost to find ourselves and the answer. But sometimes, when you've gone round in circles so many times you have the spins, it's good to get a grip on your why.
When coachees come to work with me, this is the first thing we do together. I ask the below questions to get a sense of their greater mission in the world. That way, every time we feel compelled to launch something new, take a turn, and evolve, we come back to that why and ensure that whatever we create is in service to this higher mission.
So if you're wrestling with some big questions in your business, or deciding to change careers, take yourself through the below exercise for a little smidgen of clarity. Then I invite you to keep these answers front and center so you can always refer back to them.
Questions: (Got your journal ready?!)
1. What's your mission with this business or your career? Complete this sentence: I am on a mission to __________ with my work. Think big here. You didn't come here to play small. And if you are playing small, ask yourself what you're afraid of or hiding from?
2. What's the impact you want to have on the world? Complete this sentence: The impact I want to have on the world is ____________. The world will be a better place and I'll have done my job if_______________.
3. What do you value? Think of pivotal moments in your life where your values were called into question or came to the forefront. Complete this sentence: The values I want to uphold with my work and contribution are____________. (And this list can be long or short. The first time I wrote down my values it was 11 pages long. Seriously.)
4. Where is your fire? Finding your fire is like finding an endless fuel supply. When we are connected to our values and our fire, very few things can get in our way. A quick way to find your fire is to think about the spaces where you're in conversation that you can't help but use your voice. It's usually something you are incapable of staying silent on because the information just pours through you. You might feel heated, impassioned, even angry about these topics.
5. And once you've gotten clear on all of the above, pressure test your new ideas. Ask yourself, "does this new body of work/ career/ business/ product/service connect to the bigger mission, values and what you want to impact?" And if not, how can you either connect it to them or decide that it might not be a fit for you right now?
I hope this exercise was clarifying for you. If you want more direction on starting a new business I invite you into a session or to my digital course, Entreprenourished.
]]>― Robert Jordan
As entrepreneurs, our ability to be nimble is one of our absolute biggest assets. But often times, that nimbleness can allude us. But why?
As business owners, we wear many hats and things can change quickly. So how can we roll with that? Before we jump into how we can thrive through change, lets first define what it means to thrive in our own business.
I define thriving via the below graphic. It's the ability to be in alignment with communication, your strategies and tactics, money, your team, your values, your role, the impact you want to have and the joy you feel. When you're filling up your cup in all of those areas, you're moving towards thrive culture.
It's not necessarily about being balanced in these areas because balance implies stasis. It's about prioritizing what has the biggest impact on your triple bottom line (people, profit and the planet) and then being as nimble as possible when change does come our way.
But what get's in the way of our nimbleness and ability to thrive when, let's say, the market changes, you get acquired by a bigger company, or you merge with someone your same size?
Failure to thrive, in my belief, falls into two buckets—lack of business planning (agility and preparation) and lack of integrity in our mindset (living in the fear mindset).
If you're feeling really fearful of change, that fear can consume all of your thoughts and really own you. Have you ever been so fraught with worry it consumed all of your thoughts every waking hour? I'm raising both hands over here. If your mindset or the voice of fear is getting in the way of thriving, I want you to journal on the following:
Any good insights? How did that feel?
Once you've moved the mindset roadblocks out of the way, it's time to get in integrity with your actions as well.
What are your current business challenges? What goals can you assign yourself and your teams to move through those challenges (make them SMART)? What vital actions can you take each day and what milestones do you need in place to ensure you're tracking? Fill out the table below with your plan.
Once you get on the court with your vital actions, you can check in with your milestones and see if you're meeting them or not. If you're not meeting your milestones, chances are there are some lingering mindset blocks getting in the way of your success. In which case, I invite you to take yourself back through the mindset exercise around your fears above.
Change is inevitable and as entrepreneurs we tend to come up against it more often, and faster, than most. Approaching change nimbly and with a growth mindset is the best way to equip yourself. What did you learn about yourself from doing this exercise? What did you learn about your business?
]]>You're really smart and great at what you do. Like the best. You've paid your dues, you work really hard and you're pretty evolved in your thinking. You've done decently well in your career—but you know you're capable of so much more. So when you evaluate your current status and the money you're making, you feel like a big failure. And feeling like a failure make you feel worthless and creates and endless cycle of negativity.
I get it. I've been there. I've had several careers over the last 12 years and I didn't always feel great in them. In fact, when I launched my agency back in 2007 and didn't make the millions I'd envisioned, I felt like a huge flop and wallowed in shame. And even when I launched my current business and wasn't immediately featured in Entrepreneur Magazine and hailed "coach of the year" I felt like I'd failed and felt shame there too. But shame owns us and keeps us stuck. So it's our job to find the shame, heal the wound and move fully into your badass amazing potential.
Below is the exercise I take myself and my clients through whenever the weight of "success" or "failure" is feeling too great. Find a quiet place and give yourself at least 30-minutes to journal on all the prompts below. And if you need more support, you can always book a session.
1. Journal on why you might currently feel like a failure. Identify and name the fear in the story you're telling. I.e. "I'm such a failure because I set a goal to get two juicy corporate clients by March and nothing has come through. I'm afraid that if I don't get those clients, I won't meet my annual goals." Notice what's a story and what are cold hard facts.
2. What is the limning belief tied to the fear? Limiting beliefs are thoughts that keep us small and stuck. I.e."If I don't make enough money and meet those annual goals it means I'm capable or good enough aka my value is tied to how much money I make."
3. Turn the thought around. Cite three examples from your life where you didn't hit your fixed goal, but still felt innately amazing and valuable because you lived and you learned. I.e. "I felt valuable when I didn't meet my revenue goals in my last sales cycle because I learned that my timeline to close these projects is 4-6 months and I got wiser about how to close these deals. So that was a major win and I felt really valuable." Make this turnaround thought your mantra and even take it into daily meditation with you, make it the background of your phone or place it on your fridge.
4. Define what success looks and feels like to you from a growth mindset perspective. According to Carol Dweck author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success "in a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” What would make you feel successful through that lens?
5. Create an action plan to success. Based on your evolved definition of success, what actions do you need to get on the court with to achieve your newly defined success? Does it mean learning a new body of work? Getting curious about what works in your sales process? Create a 30, 60 and 90 day plan with SMART goals so you can start to embody your new definition of success. If money is coming up a lot for your in this exercise, I want you to do the money exercise in the blog post below.
6. Check back in whenever you feel stuck. If you're meeting resistance, are you in the fixed mindset? Owned by shame? Stuck in a limiting belief pattern? The process of discovery and growth is on-going so lean into it and run yourself through this process as often as you need to.
And if you need more support reach out and book a session.
]]>In order to uncover why we might feel stuck around the concept of money, we need to dig into our belief systems. Because our beliefs systems are often unconscious. Like an operating system running in the background that we didn’t know we had.
We’re going to dig into what you believe about money and how it might be currently shaping your reality. We want to explore who you are in relation to money. What do you believe about money for yourself? How did you come to believe these things?
The ideas you hold about yourself and the world around you make up your CORE BELIEFS. These CORE BELIEFS are often unconscious and unexamined.
And you might be wondering why, in an exercise on money we are talking about beliefs, well, I’ll tell you. Beliefs are so important because almost every action you take in LIFE is influenced by them whether we realize it or not. And your Core Beliefs can either support or get in the way of the fulfillment of any intention. Everything you currently have in your life is a result of what you believe is possible in this world. Take that in for a moment. That might be making your head spin. It did for me initially.
So now, we're going to dig into some pretty deep questions. Grab a notebook and pen, find a quiet spot where you won't be disturbed for at least 30-minutes, and take three giant and cleansing breaths. Now, open your notebook and run yourself through these journal prompts.
Part 1: THE HIS/HERSTORY
Part 2: MAKING YOUR DECISION TO MAKE MORE MONEY
Part 3: GETTING CLEAR
Part 4: THE ACTIONS
If you need more support on this topic, we invite you to book a session.
**Exercise is adapted from Overcoming Underearning.
]]>This year I launched my Digital course, I filmed a pilot, I wrote a book, I shot a speaking reel, I coached over a dozen incredible souls one-on-one, I lead Fortune 100 companies to major shifts towards thrive culture, I wrote for MindbodyGreen, Thrive and Medium, I supported the launch of three super groundbreaking wellness businesses, I deepened some amazing friendships (you know who you are), I took several amazing trips, got in some loving fam time, and I lost my aunt, my uncle and my grandpa. It's been a year.
What I've noticed in conversations and in sessions though, is that people can have a tendency to associate hard with bad. This year was hella hard. Especially, losing one of the people I love most in the universe, but hard has been the biggest blessing of my life. Hard has cracked me open, allowed me to feel deeper, think bigger and reminded me of my own grace and greatness. Hard is a gift—we just need to pull back the layers on it to see it. We need a moment to witness and honor where we have been, who we have been and how we've shown up. And only then, when we've really SEEN ourselves, can we start to think about turning the page.
So, as we head into 2019, I invite you to do the following exercise to take inventory of what this year has been and who you've been in it. It's a powerful way to honor your greatness, let go of what no longer serves you, and take the best of you into your new year and journey.
2019 Intention Setting Exercise
I recommend starting with a little celebration. Take a moment to witness where you won big this year and what the circumstances were that supported these big wins. And then I want you to think about where you might have missed the mark and what you want to release as a result.
Celebrate: What were your big wins in 2018? Celebrate your high highs. |
Release: What do you want to let go of from 2018? Honor and release any shame from your lows. |
|
|
You can put your celebration list on your altar, your fridge or somewhere you'll see it. I also recommend releasing the list of what you want to let go of by tearing it up or br
Now, I want you to think big picture for 2019. I invite you to think of your broader mission and vision and how you're doing to bring it to life. You can do this for one specific area of your life, or all areas.
1. My Mission Is…. |
2. My Big Juicy Vision Is… |
3. Who do you want to BE this year? What do you need to heal or transform to BE this version of you in 2019? |
4.What do you want to create this year and for whom? |
5. How do you want it to take shape?
|
6. What next steps do you need to take to become this version of you and serve how you want to serve? What do you need to do over the next 30 days, 60 days, 90 days?
|
7. What resources do you need to bring this to life? How can you creatively access or manifest these resources?
|
My 2019 Mantra Is:
|
“Resilience is very different than being numb. Resilience means you experience, you feel, you fail, you hurt. You fall. But, you keep going.” — Yasmin Mogahed
Today’s training is about building a resilience mindset, so that no matter what happens—in work or in life—you can experience your emotions, but still feel whole, powerful and intact.
Life, by nature, can feel up and down. You might have an amazing day, get tons of praise at work, be in an amazing relationship and feel like an all-around rockstar as result. And there might be days when you fall up the subway stairs, mumble through a presentation or get really bad news about a loved one and it can make you feel really low. So how do we ride the waves without having our emotions live in the wild extremes of life? By being so deeply rooted in our truth that nothing can throw us off kilter.
Let me be clear here—there is nothing wrong with deeply experiencing your feelings or your pain—in fact I advocate for it. If we deny them, or bury them, they'll surface in another way or time.
The difference between feeling our pain and anguish but having the ability to keep going, is really a conversation of self-worth. Resilience, at its root is about knowing that whatever happens we will be loved, respected and worthy regardless of circumstance. That knowing allows us to move through our circumstances with the belief that we'll be okay. But how do we get there?
Today I want to share my go-to tools for building a mindset of resilience and greatness. Watch the video to learn more.
]]>
Do you ever take stock of your life and wonder how you’ve gotten where you are? You might think to yourself, I’m so capable and bright, why doesn’t my level of success reflect that? I’ve been there. I’ve always worked very hard and when I didn’t feel it was getting me where I wanted to go, I layered in some new-age self-help tools such as daily affirmations and visualization—but my dreams still felt like they resided in a distant and mythical place. They felt out of reach and beyond me, despite my best efforts. A few years ago, after landing in an astonishingly uninspired place in my life regardless of my hard work and enthusiasm but knowing deep down that I was meant for something different, I decided I needed a fresh perspective.
I started working with a therapist who used hypnosis and deep meditations to get a stronger understanding of what was happening in my subconscious mind. And it was pivotal. You see, our subconscious beliefs actually run the show. According to Dr. Bruce Lipton 95% of what we do is controlled by subconscious so we need to get a handle on the belief systems residing there. Otherwise, those beliefs, in the words of Carl Gustav Jung “will direct your life and you will call it fate.” So much of our life is unconscious and until we make an effort to make it conscious, we will be stuck with the same old “fate.”
In the below guided meditation, I’m going to help you get clear on the belief system that is inhibiting your success. We’re going to dig into what you believe about the world and how it might be currently shaping your reality. What do you believe about yourself? How did you come to believe these things? What do you believe about the world? Have ever wondered how you came to form these opinions?
The ideas you hold about yourself and the world around you make up your core beliefs. These core beliefs are often unconscious and unexamined. Beliefs are so important because almost every action you take in life is influenced by them whether we realize it or not. And your core beliefs can either support or get in the way of the fulfillment of any intention. Everything you currently have in your life is a result of what you believe is possible in this world.
According to David Eagleman, neuroscientist and a New York Times bestselling author of Incognito, "the conscious you is the smallest bit-player in the brain"—can you imagine that? It’s so small to the point that even our most important and personal decisions – like choosing a partner, deciding which city to live in and even the work we choose to do– are directed by brain mechanisms that we are unaware of.”
How do we come to cement these core beliefs and how is it tied to our success today? Our core beliefs are often cemented in childhood and are learned from our predominant caretakers, such as parents, grandparents, siblings etc. What they believe about the world (and us) is projected on to us and we take it at face value, because in our younger years, we don’t always know to question it. So, if you grew up in a household where your parents believed that money was hard to come by, or easily made and easily lost, it’s likely that you have the same beliefs and might be operating from them and not even realize it. So, it’s our responsibility to dig into those beliefs about the world that are lurking in our operating system and learn to evolve them.
Everything we have in our life is a reflection of what we believe we are worthy of. So, let’s dig into what you think you are worthy of (or not worthy of) and recreate those old beliefs to new ones that serve you in a much bigger way. Please listen to the guided meditation and then journal on the prompts below.
Journal Prompts
I can’t stress enough how terrible this is for your body. My lack of sleep and incredible amounts of stress were big contributors my worsening autoimmune conditions. What's more, studies have demonstrated that keeping your body awake for just 17 to 19 hours straight impacts performance more than a blood-alcohol level of .1 percent* (the legal limit in most Western European countries). This seemingly innocuous level of sleep deprivation slows a person’s reaction time down by 50 percent compared to a person who is well-rested. So, if you’re driving your children around, or attempting to deliver a killer presentation, just keep in mind that you’re basically performing drunk.
So, what is the optimal amount of sleep?
It’s not the 8 hours the old adage would make you think. Though every body is different and needs varying levels of sleep and self-care Daniel Kripke, arguably the world’s most accomplished sleep researcher, says people that get between 6.5 and 7.5 hours of sleep per night are the happiest and most productive, and they live the longest. When we sleep, our body is focused on much-needed repair work. It’s the key to feeling energized, looking younger, staying slimmer and having a better functioning brain. On the flip side, too much sleep (anything in excess of eight hours per night) is actually correlated with significantly higher mortality rates. Though, the research does point to lifestyle factors as contributors. So when it comes to sleep, balance is everything.
Can we make up for lost sleep?
Many of my clients suffer from imbalanced sleep—they’ll get roughly 4-5 hours per week night and then attempt to “catch up” on the weekends. But, can we actually make up lost sleep? A recent sleep study found that sleepiness, inflammation and stress hormones all returned to normal after weekend recovery sleep. However, measurements on performance tests that assessed participants ability to pay attention, significantly deteriorated after sleep deprivation and didn’t improve after recovery sleep. That is to suggest, weekday sleep debt can’t be recouped over just one weekend.
So what’s a busy professional to do in order to get the healthy amount of shut-eye?
]]>
Many of my clients take planes as often as they do trains or taxis. And as soon as the wheels touch down they’re expected to be on and ready to deliver groundbreaking insights, presentations and performances. But that is a major challenge for a few reasons. When you’re flying at altitudes of 30,000+, the cabin pressure is low and that pressure does a few things to your body. First, your blood receives less oxygen, which can cause fatigue, foggy brain and more. Additionally, cabins are kept at around 10-15% humidity which is why many of us leave flights feeling severely dehydrated. So what’s a road warrior to do? Well, a few things.
Get Some O2: Oxygen makes up 65% of the human body - and oxygen is responsible for 90% of the body's energy!
Hydrate Right: When flying, it’s important to add an addition 6-8 ounces of water for every hour flown to compensate for the dehydrating effects of flying
Eat the Right Foods: At high altitudes, our palettes change and it’s much harder to taste subtleties. As a result, airline food is often heavily salted and sweetened for your taste buds to perceive it as edible.
We’d love to hear your ideas! How do you beat the post-flight fog?
]]>Do your research.
Before you decide to ask for a raise, do some reconnaissance around your competitive set. That’s to say, are you currently being paid market value? If you’re not, that’s a strong talking point to begin negotiations, granted you are working to your full potential. If you are being paid competitively, but still think you deserve a raise, don’t worry about it – our next recommendation will help you out.
Take account of what you’re doing.
Have your responsibilities increased since you were hired and/or received your last pay bump? What have you accomplished recently? These are all critical points to consider and make note of as you prepare to make your case for a raise. Be as thorough and specific as possible about the role you play in your company and how that correlates to your overall value.
Understand your motivations.
If you’re asking for more money because you feel like you deserve it, or you’re tired and work so hard, or your bank account is low, then unfortunately you’re asking for the wrong reasons. Step outside of personal motivations and step into the place of your employer: Why should they compensate you more for the work you’re doing? Sell yourself in an active way, focusing on the value you actually bring versus the compensation you feel you need.
Select a good time.
Conversations like this are best had at the appropriate moments, such as yearly or quarterly reviews or work anniversaries. Translation: You shouldn’t be broaching this subject while at your company holiday party or over email when your boss is on vacation. Furthermore, ensure that the timing is realistic: If you’ve only been working with your company for three months, it’s probably not the right time to ask for a raise.
Be prepared to negotiate.
Conversations around compensation can often be a fluid, so it’s important to put on your negotiating pants. In fact, a wise former boss told us in confidence that asking for a number higher than you think you’ll be able to procure is a good strategy (within reason), as it places you in a better negotiating position from the onset. Chances are, this number will be countered with something lower, but you’ll still be happy with what you’re walking away with. At least, we hope so!
]]>
Morels
What they are: Mushrooms! But these special mushrooms have a distinctive look – they kind of resemble little sponges. They have a lovely earthy, meat flavor that packs a serious punch. (Which is a good thing, as they tend to be pricier ‘shrooms.)
Why they’re great: Morels are high in both iron and phosphorus. In fact, one cup of morels will provide you with your daily-recommended iron intake – a boon if you’re a vegetarian and/or if you’re not into chowing on red meat.
How to eat them: Morels should always be cooked, as they contain trace amounts of toxins that are removed easily through heat. With that said, we recommend eating them sautéed, or in pastas and risottos. We personally think this pasta recipe looks delicious.
Leeks
What they are: A sprawling, stalk-like vegetable with a mild, onion-y taste. They look a bit like scallions, with a white base and green tips.
Why they’re great: They’re an excellent source of Vitamin K, which helps to build strong bones, prevent blood clots and protect your heart. Also, leeks are rich in the B vitamin folate, which is a critical nutrient for mamas-to-be.
How to eat them: Braised or in soups, thanks to their onion-like qualities. We’re salivating over this vegan potato leek soup.
Asparagus
What they are: The slender, green stalks your mom always used to make you eat growing up. They have a slightly bitter flavor and, texture-wise, are somewhere in between a broccoli stalk and a celery stick.
Why they’re great: Asparagus is packed with a ton of essential nutrients, including Vitamins A, C, E and K. They’re also rich in folate and possess anti-inflammatory properties to protect against disease.
How to eat them: We love pairing them with eggs – this combination is an easy classic.
Green Peas
What they are: The stuff of baby food dreams. Just kidding – they’re sweet and tender bites of green goodness.
Why they’re great: These little powerhouses are packed with fiber, copper, Vitamins C, K, and B1, as well as manganese.
How to eat them: Our new obsession is adding in some green peas to our guacamole to intensify the color, add a touch of sweetness and enhance the texture. Here’s a recipe from ABC Cocina.
Rhubarb
What it is: It’s a vegetable, but it’s often mistaken for a fruit because of the sweet, vibrant taste of its signature stalk.
Why it’s great: It’s rich in antioxidants, calcium and Vitamin K. It’s also a source of lutein, “the eye vitamin,” which is critical for promoting ocular health.
How to eat it: Only eat the stalks, as the leaves are high in oxalic acid, which can be toxic. With that said, rhubarb is a hit baked goods – hello, rhubarb pie! – so we’re all about recipes like these chia rhubarb muffins.
]]>I was reminiscing over said pancakes recently with my husband, lamenting that because I have a white potato allergy, I’d never be able to indulge again. However, I’d recently seen a post by one of my friends and fellow health coaches, Samantha Elkreif, about zucchini pancakes and a light went off. Since I’m grain-free these days, I came up with my own version and I hate to say it, they were pretty spectacular.
All you need is:
1 medium zucchini, shredded
2 eggs, beaten
1/3 of a cup of chickpea flour
salt and pepper
A few dashes of hot sauce
1 chopped shallot
1 clove of garlic, crushed
2 tbs of coconut oil
Beat the eggs and leave on the side. Season the shredded zucchini with salt and pepper and hot sauce. Then mix in the garlic and shallots. Sprinkle the chickpea flour in, bit by bit, allowing all the zucchini to become coated. Then mix in the eggs and stir until it's the consistency of pancake batter.
Heat the coconut oil in a large skillet and place a heaping tablespoon of batter into the pan for each pancake. Cook until golden brown and then pop in the oven and broil for five minutes on 400 to crisp them up even further.
Makes 12 pancakes
]]>