I shared a quote on instagram a few weeks ago that you all loved! It basically said, staying stuck sucks. Sure, change is scary, but nothing is worse than staying somewhere we don’t belong.
Inspired by your response to this share, I’m serving up some hot tips on how to get unstuck from the stickiness that is 2021.
Step 1: Release tolerations
The practice of tolerating something. Allowing the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference.
We all have areas in our lives that we are tolerating—putting up with either because we haven’t looked at it or don’t believe that another way is possible. When we are tolerating things that are not in service to us, we can not only feel overwhelmed and weighted down, but it diminishes our capacity to hold what we really desire. Ask yourself:
- What are you currently tolerating that isn’t serving you (examples include: bosses, partners, not making enough money, toxic behavior, overwhelm, being stressed out…)
- Why are you tolerating these things?
- What does releasing these tolerations make possible? What’s available to you once you release what isn’t serving you.
- What can you release? By when and how?
Step 2: Shift your mindset
It’s pretty easy to feel down these days. The world is in crisis, 40% of folks are changing jobs, the pandemic has hit women really hard...the list goes on. But it’s not just the times that are making us feel down. Our brains evolved with something called a “negativity bias” which was literally an evolutionary response to keep us safe. If we saw a lion in the prairie we need to hyper focus on the fact that the prairie wasn’t safe so we could stay alive.
What this means is that our brains are more sensitive to negative information or unpleasant news. Our brains literally have a greater surge in electrical activity when we see, hear, feel or experience negativity. Researchers have found that in order to feel balanced in a situation, we need to a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative. Take yourself through this three step process to reframe yourself out of a funk.
What is the story you’re telling yourself? What is the Voice of Fear Saying?
Is there a limiting belief (belief that is keeping you stuck) tied to this fear?
How can you debunk this way of thinking or turn this thought around by citing examples to the contrary?
Step 3: Cultivate a daily gratitude practice
According to Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher, who has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being, gratitude reduces toxic emotions ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression. And who couldn’t use a little more happiness, especially right now?
What are you grateful for today? Whom are you grateful for?
How can you express advanced gratitude (gratitude for something you’re manifesting that hasn’t yet arrived so you can allow yourself to feel as if it’s already here)?
What did this bring up for you? If it was a lot, I hear you. And if you'd like to process it together and explore what's next for you, I invite you to schedule a clarity call.